


The End of Innocence

by FanficsbyVe



Category: Demon's Souls
Genre: F/M, Friends to Lovers, Loss of Innocence, Loss of Virginity
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-11
Updated: 2016-01-11
Packaged: 2018-05-13 07:06:46
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,845
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5699446
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FanficsbyVe/pseuds/FanficsbyVe
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Astraea finds that her new purpose as a Demon might be bearable with Garl Vinland at her side. One-shot.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The End of Innocence

The world was a cruel, unfair place.

Now, Astraea’s supposed blackened heart felt that more than ever. Sitting amidst the waste and blood that poured through the Valley of Defilement, she felt the weight of the world more than ever. It was painfully ironic, she realized. After all, were demons not supposed to be heartless beings that delighted in suffering and misery?

They were wrong, she knew now. Those priests and prophets and deacons and saints. She felt still pain and sorrow. She felt it stronger than ever, to the point it tore her apart. Except now, perhaps, she could also do something about it.

She was still surprised how easy it was to surrender to the Demon Fog. How…liberating almost. After all she has witnessed, all she has experienced, how could she still believe in divinity? In a merciful, righteous God? How could she even consider herself a Saint when what one called God and The Old One were one and the same? Is her choice really so abominable and against nature if nature itself proved an abomination?

She had seen the devastation it reaped, this foul being, and she has witnessed the actions of those who claimed to fight it. They were the hypocrites who benefitted from miracles despite fighting its source. The ones who brayed about sins as an excuse to leave the wretched and unfortunate to rot. The fools who would drag off a young girl and proclaim her saint for having found an ancient ring in the grass near her home, regardless of whether she even wanted to…

No, the soul of a demon suited her now. The taint of wretchedness made her more understanding of tragedy than the young saint safely hidden behind cathedral walls. It strengthened her more than any miracle, made her understand where she was previously ignorant. She was now more than a becoming maiden on a pedestal, receiving prayers. She had agency and the power to ease everyone’s suffering. 

Yet, one shred of her old life remained. Even now, amidst filth and agony, one person was still there. Even though her other comrades, Lizaia and Vito, had perished, he still lived and somehow survived.

“Lady Astraea?”

She looked up to see Garl. Clad in his armor, with its unusual silver sheen and helmet shaped like the head of a kraken, he towered over her. He held out his arm, offering her what looked like a loaf of bread.

“I found us some food. Here, take it.”

Astraea simply nodded, taking it from him and nibbling on it. She didn’t ask him where he had found it and didn’t have the heart to tell him she no longer needed normal food to sustain herself. She cared more about him than anyone else, after all.

Garl Vinland had been her friend since childhood. Their families were allied Knight Houses and they would always play together, being in each other’s company almost every day. Even as they grew from children into adolescents, where interaction between the sexes was more frowned upon, they preferred each other’s company. She had cared for him, maybe even loved him. As shameful as it was, when she found that Ring of Sincere Prayer and was taken away by the church, she cried more for him than for her family.

Her joy had been great when she saw him again a few years later. He had decided to become a Church Knight, he told her, to wield his weapons in their service as her protector. She had laughed and cried at the same time when he said it. She laughed because she was happy to have him close again. She cried because she sincerely doubted whether he considered it truly a calling. Back then, she hadn’t dared to ask if he had chosen that life because of her and as he hadn’t confirmed it, she had decided to leave it at that.

Thus, he became her bodyguard, sworn in by the Church. Garl performed that task well, better than Vito or Lizaia ever could. Wherever she went, he followed. He followed her when she decided to undertake her pilgrimage. He had even followed her right into the depths of the Valley of Defilement, surrounded by nothing but rottenness and somehow stayed, even when all their companions were gone and she had become the one thing he was supposed to fight against rather than fight for.

She watched him eat and felt her heart ache. He should not be here. He should be with the Vinland family. He had a lordship waiting for him at home, parents and an older sister who’d love to have him back. Garl belonged there, among the family’s vineyards waiting to get married and have a family. He shouldn’t be staying here with her, a lost and fallen Saint. There was nothing for him here but stagnant suffering and she couldn’t bear to make him waste away his life protecting her.

Astraea turned to him, taking a deep breath and finally saying what she had held back for years now. “You should go, Garl.”

Her companion looked up from his food, a look of surprise in his eyes. “I beg your pardon?”

For the briefest of moments, she was tempted to retract her statement. Still, she knew she couldn’t do it. Not if she genuinely cared about him. She had to be forthcoming, no matter how painful it was.

“You should go home. Leave this place. This Valley is no home for a Knight of the Church.”

Her words echoed through the alcove in which they were seated. Her fingers dug in the bread the longer it lingered, afraid of the response. She could see him frown. 

“Lady Astraea, you know I cannot leave you. I was sworn to protect you.”

A sense of mild irritation flowed through her. Of course, he would reply that way. He had been a Church Knight for so long. It was only natural he would sing the political correct tunes to her… She gathered her courage and reiterated her statement.

“I know and you have done so most valiantly. Yet here, our paths must diverge. You were assigned to protect a saint, which I am no longer. You are free now.”

He looked at her and she noticed a strange glint in his eye. “No, I recall that I am to protect you, Lady Astraea. No additional stipulation on whether you are human or demon was ever mentioned.”

All Astraea could do at that statement was stare. It took her several moments to realize that he was actually attempting to…lighthearted in his disregard of her order. Once upon a time, such a thing would have surely made her laugh. Now, it only annoyed and saddened her.

“I am not jesting, Garl. You have done your duty. You need to go home, to the Vinland estate. To your parents, to Selen. You still have a whole life ahead of you. I do not want you to waste it here, with me in this Valley…”

She could feel hot tears burn behind her eyes. She sounded a lot more spiteful than she wanted to. Garl seemed to sense it too. He let out a deep sigh, leaning his arms on his knees while staring at the refuse floating by below. 

“So you presume it is wasteful to be here with you instead of home?”

Astraea was amazed at how well she composed herself as she replied. “I know you would be happier there…”

The hollow laugh he let out was enough to make her jump. “How can you be so certain? You think it would make me happy to go home and manage an estate, surrounded by sycophants? To have my parents arrange a marriage for me to someone I might not love? Above all, do you honestly think I would be content living a life of luxury knowing I left you in a place like this?”

In all truth, the former saint had no answer to that. How could she? She had not expected him to be this harsh, this defiant. He was no longer the dutiful little boy she played with in the vineyards of the Vinland family. He was now a man and spoke like one as well.

“That what people consider good is not always so to those subject to the choice. I love my family, but I do not like the fate I was destined for any more than I know you do. You chose your own “damnation”, Lady Astraea. Allow me to choose mine.”

By now, she decided to say no more. It was clear Garl was not leaving, clearly angered by the very notion. He refused to go home no matter how much she pressed and she knew a losing battle when she saw one. There was no use trying any further.

“Does my presence displease you so, that you can no longer stand me by your side?”

Garl’s question, suddenly sounding very uncertain, cut like a knife and she frantically shook her head. “No, forgive me if I gave that impression. I simply do not want to be the cause of your misery. But I am glad for your company. I have been since we were children.”

She saw him smile a little at that. Just like that, the tense atmosphere that had started building was dissipating once more. She smiled back. It had always been like that between them. Arguments never lasted long and could be dispelled with just a few words or a single look. The result of years of trust and familiarity, even if things were no longer as simple…

Astraea sighed. “We are a long way from the vineyards now, are we not Garl?”

He nodded. “I know. A long way from the life I had imagined for either of us too…”

Another silence lingered over them for a while and he finished his meager meal. She had managed to do so too, though of course she didn’t feel any different. Garl shifted a little and spoke again.

“I was expecting to marry you, you know… Our fathers would often talk about it, when they thought I was not listening. About how great it would be to join the families. Frankly, I was rather enamored with the idea too. I was to propose to you when you came of age. Fate decided differently when you found the Ring of Sincere Prayer…”

He fell quiet again after speaking those words and so did the former saint. There was no point in speaking. She had to admit this information wasn’t entirely new to her. Their families had always been close and she had regularly suspected she or one of her siblings might be wed to a Vinland. Occasionally, it occurred to her that it might be between her and her childhood friend and she felt butterflies in her stomach at that idea. Still, she had never had any certainty of her being Garl’s betrothed and she had never dwelled on it. Especially not when she started her life as a saint.

Yet now, condemned and forsaken, she couldn’t help but wonder. How would her life have been if she had indeed been married to him? She would have lived at the Vinland estate. She would have been considered a lady of the house, likely would have had some children by Garl. Hers would have been a life of privilege, with the hope that the high walls would protect them from the Demon Fog. Her stomach turned. She might have been happier that way, but also more ignorant. Knowing what she did now, she could no longer consider that a better fate.

Still, she pondered if Garl felt the same way. If knowing the truth was preventing him from returning to a simpler, easier life. Or was it perhaps something…less complex? Something she had briefly entertained as they grew up together, but no longer when she became a woman. She figured she might as well ask. Without the Church around, there was no more reason for secrets.

“Is that why you stay? Besides having nothing to return to that you find worthwhile? Do you care for me as more than merely your childhood friend?”

Immediately, she could hear him chuckle, almost embarrassed. “I know I never acted on it after you were taken away, but yes. It was what moved me to become a Church Knight in the first place. But I think you may have already known that.”

Before she even realized it, her head started to slowly nod. Of course she had known. Garl was a man for fighting battles and governing lands. He had never been particularly religious and not any more suited for the life of a warrior monk than she was for sainthood, regardless of all the kindness and genuine compassion she held.

Oh, of course the church had disagreed on that. It never even occurred to them that perhaps she could have stumbled on that ring by accident. No, she was a beautiful, tall, slender and blond maiden from a well-bred family. She could have sat for the sculpting of a Virgin Mary statue practically; of course it was no mere chance. Many times, she had dared to bitterly ask herself whether they had so readily proclaimed her a saint had she been a prostitute, married mother or even a fat, ugly peasant girl.

Naturally, she never said those things out loud. She should have perhaps, but couldn’t. Her family had been so proud when the Church proclaimed her sainthood that she had felt trapped. She couldn’t renounce it, she couldn’t spit in the face of the highest honor the Church could bestow, without shaming her family forever. So she had held her peace and tried to make the best of her situation, especially when Garl finally joined her at her side. 

So here they were now, amidst the filth and destitution displaying all that the Church so desperately wanted to forget. A demon and a knight who renounced his vows to stay with her, having embraced the evil people like them were supposed to valiantly fight. The church had thought her destined to be a saint. Obviously, she was not such a person. She may have had the capacity to care of one, but as she sat here with her dear childhood friend, she realized she could not renounce the worldly.

She stood up and started to trudge through the refuse. Garl noticed and came rushing towards her, picking her off the ground. She smiled and held on to his arm.

“You can stop treating me like a living relic, Garl. I am no longer a saint or even a lady. If you cannot by swayed from my side, I welcome you but not as my bodyguard. Be here as my companion instead.” 

He was silent for a while, giving her the most surprised look she had ever seen. It almost made her giggle had she not been waiting with baited breath for his reaction. It seemed like an eternity before he finally returned the expression, speaking in the warmest tone she had heard in a long time. 

“I would wish for nothing more.”

With those words, he started to walk, not putting her down despite her telling him that he could. He carried her across the filth towards the old, abandoned cart they had used to get here. The wheels were now broken, but the inside was still dry and clean. He set her inside, making sure she was comfortable.

“You should rest. It’s almost night time.”

She nodded, lying down on the rags inside. Yet, unlike before, she was no longer content to sleep alone while Garl stayed outside to keep card. She had been alone for far too long and she longed for the companionship she had been deprived of when she became a saint. There was no one here to frown on it anyway.

“Would you join me?”

Instantly, he froze over and she clarified. “Sleep next to me, like we used to do when we were young. I tire of being lonely.”

It took him but a few moments to smile warmly at that and he crawled into the wagon to lie beside her. He took off his helmet, before allowing her to slip into his arms. She happily curled up against him and sighed contently. 

Despite the hard, angular armor he wore, she felt peaceful lying there in his arms. It reminded her of home and of simpler times. If she closed her eyes, she could actually imagine the two of them back home, huddled under the blankets after a long day of playing in the vineyards.

Still, it wasn’t entirely like that. They were no longer children and even during the time right before the ring, their parents had started to forbid them from sharing a bed. To, in their words, keep them from something “inappropriate” happening. Back then, she hadn’t understood, but as an adult she was all too aware of what they had in mind. 

Perhaps, they had not been wrong. While nothing as intimate as that had ever occurred between her and Garl, there had been minor explorations. They had kissed a few times out of curiosity and had touched each other in intimate places, fascinated by the differences. She recalled these as being somewhat pleasant, but it had never occurred to them that these actions were sexual. For her, that seed was only planted when she was taken away from home and educated on all the things she could no longer have as a woman of God.

Yet then, she realized, she was no longer a saint or even human. As a demon, she was no longer bound to any societal norms. Here, she had her agency back, the power to choose as she saw fit. And perhaps, the ability to obtain some of the things her sainthood had denied her. 

The first kiss was clumsy and somewhat hesitant. It certainly caught her companion off guard. She could hear a surprised sound emit from Garl’s throat and for a second, she thought he was going to pull back.

Within moments, however, he moved in closer. He pulled her against him, returning the kiss with a lot of fervor. She giggled a little when he added some tongue and quickly felt a strange feeling settling in her stomach. Like a million butterflies squirming through her body, but in no way unpleasant.

That feeling only increased when he ran his hands all over her body. It was all a bit awkward, thanks to him still wearing his bracers, but she couldn’t help but enjoy his attentions. She didn’t even take pause for a moment when she felt his hands finally slipping under her clothes. 

“Maybe you should get out of your armor.”

Then and there, she could feel Garl freeze over. “A-Astraea?”

Even the former Saint was surprised at hearing herself speak. “However far we intend to go, the metal is not exactly comfortable to you or me. And seeing where we are, I see no need for secrecy or shame anymore.”

Almost immediately, he gave her a serious look. “You know I will not go any further than you want me to go…”

She smiled. “I know. I trust you. I always have, my dearest Garl.”

That seemed to be all the persuasion he needed. Leaning in for another passionate kiss, he then pulled back and started to undo his armor. Astraea reached out to help him in the somewhat cramped space. Soon, his bracers and boots were off, followed by his actual dark-silver armor. It was for the first time in years that she had seen him without his familiar protective gear and she had to say she quite liked the sight.

She didn’t protest at all when he pulled her into his lap. His hands ran across her still clothed form, eager but clearly tentative. She simply gave him another playful kiss, allowing her own hands to wander as well.

Garl was clearly no longer the boy she had once known. His years as a Church Knight had made him strong and tall, capable of wielding a warhammer one-handed without too much effort. His body had become quite muscular as a result and as she carefully trailed her fingers under his shirt, she realized she liked it a lot.

Her companion seemed equally pleased with her. Before long, Garl had started to remove some of the thick white robes that covered her form. He had already gotten rid of her hood and outer robe, leaving her feel a little more vulnerable than she thought she would be.

She had worn a habit ever since she became a saint. She had still been a girl then and when her body went through the changes that turned her into a young woman, covering up became a priority. After all, a young saint was to inspire piety rather than lust. This was the first time anyone beside from her female attendants had seen her in such matter of undress and it felt both new and frightening.

“You look absolutely stunning.”

Her face flushed at his compliment. It was nice to hear someone speak so sincerely about her as a person, rather than what she inspired as a saint. Yet then, she realized that this was how Garl had always seen her. Not as some kind of holy entity, larger than life. To him, she was simply a kind and compassionate person, worthy of his protection and love. She was his friend and companion and, it seemed now, she would also be his lover.

That thought made her shed the last of her clothes without protest. Both she and her companion were fully naked now, but for some reason, she didn’t feel uncomfortable at all. In fact, it felt natural and intimate. As if this was the state both of them should be in, even if all the laws of men forbade it.

His rough hands on her bare skin were the best feeling she had felt in a long time. It caused goosebumps to form onto her skin and she trembled in anticipation. Soon, they were on her breasts and between her legs, touching her in ways she never even considered possible.

At times, Garl seemed incredibly nervous. It didn’t surprise her. As a Knight of the Church, one of the oaths he had to pledge was abstinence and as he joined the Church at the same young age as she did, he had not been with a woman before. This was new to him too and he was as nervous and awkward to her mouth and hands as she was to his. Still, both their eagerness made up for any lack of experience and instinct guided them where they lacked the knowledge. 

Within moments, they were both lying down on their pile of clothes. He was on top of her, his hard, muscular form pressed against her much smaller body. It was confining but exciting and she could feel a strange throbbing in her womanhood. She pulled him closer against her, kissing him again, only for him to pull back.

“Do you truly…want this?”

Astraea smiled, holding his face in his hands. “I do, Garl. I couldn’t imagine anyone else.” 

That was all he needed. Pressing his lips to her forehead, he sat up. He was already hard and he carefully guided his manhood to her entrance. He ran his fingers over her sides, caressing her in an effort to relax her. She sighed under his attention, before giving him a nod. She wanted this, this closeness and intimacy, more than anything else she could think of.

A faint cry left her mouth when he pushed inside of her. The sensation felt foreign, even a little painful. He noticed and grabbed her wrists, wordlessly imploring her not to move. She didn’t and quietly waited to get used to this new feeling. 

Garl waited with her and she sighed when his ran his hands over her breasts again. She gasped, reveling in his touches. The sound turned to moans when he reached the area above her sex and she found her buck her hips out of her own volition. The faint pain she felt was swiftly fading and a strange kind of wanton need was pooling inside her. She needed him against her, though she didn’t understand why.

Her lover was only happy to oblige. He started to move, slowly as if afraid to hurt her. Astraea could feel her breath hitch, surprised at the odd sensations flowing through her. At first, his movements inside of her felt strange, but with every thrust, they started to feel comforting, even…pleasurable.

“Move a little faster…”

Garl paused, giving her a surprised look. “Astraea?”

She smiled at him, blushing madly but persisting nonetheless. “I’m not made of glass, Garl. I can take it, I need it. It feels…wonderful.”

For a second, she was sure he was smirking. “Your wish is my command.”

With that, his thrusts increased and the throbbing sensation inside her flared up. Loud moans and whimpers tore from her throat and she could sense her womanhood clenching around his member. He grunted, fingers digging into her hips, growing rougher and more passionate by the second. 

This was better than she ever imagined it to be. Her tutors at the monastery had taught her about intercourse between husband and wife, but never about this. They made it out to be a duty, a messy and visceral business she would be spared as her fate was much grander. It didn’t surprise her now that they had framed it that way. Couldn’t have a saint be dissatisfied with being God’s chosen one and prefer a mundane and worldly life, after all. 

Here, lying in her lover’s arms, their admonitions all sounded so hollow. She should not have been treated like the statues in the church, denied a normal life of love and companionship. The believers had only loved her as a living vindication of their faith, while Garl loved her as the flawed person she was. How could something like this, love so genuine and pure, be wrong?

She couldn’t imagine and frankly, she didn’t even want to think right now. Pleasure had taken hold of all her senses and her mind was becoming a blur. She clung onto her lover, whispering praises and encouragement to him, wrapping her legs around him as she ascended to a peak of bliss she had previously never known.

When it came, fast and unexpected, she had no defense. It washed over her like a tidal wave, reducing her speech to nothing but a wail and setting off her nerves alight while her body went limp. Garl followed her release soon after with his own, retreating from her mere seconds before spilling himself onto the floor of the wagon. Even in her less than coherent state, she was grateful for this. The Valley of Defilement was no place to bring a child into, no matter how much she would have desired so otherwise…

Yet as quickly as that thought came to her, it slithered away again, lost in the afterglow of their coupling. She could feel her lover collapse beside her, reaching out and pulling her into his embrace. She didn’t stop him, glad to at least feel him close now he was no longer in her. It felt good to feel his skin against her, flushed and warm due to their love making. It made her feel alive again.

She couldn’t bring forth any words as she lay there against him, panting heavily. Her trembling body was drenched in sweat and she felt notable fatigue. Even so, there was an intense satisfaction to it all and she could tell be the look on her lover’s face that he felt the same way. This was how things were between them now, how it should be, and neither of them wanted it any other way. 

Garl held her closer. She saw how he quietly studied her face, seemingly glad to see her so at ease. She didn’t stop him when he put his hand under her chin and pressed his lips to hers, soft and affectionate.

“I will not leave you, my dearest Astraea. I am here and I will be here until my dying breath. I promise you that.”

All she could do to that was nod quietly. She already knew he would. He had always been there with her. From their days in the vineyards to the refuse of the Valley of Defilement, he’d been there, unwavering and loyal. Except now, he stayed out of more than duty or friendship. He stayed out of love and that was enough to make Astraea’s heart lighter.

The Valley didn’t feel so forsaken anymore. Not with him beside her. Perhaps here, with the end of innocence, there was still some good to be found.


End file.
